Let me start by saying that when the first season of The Apprentice aired, I was just enthralled. I couldn’t tear myself away. I watched the weekly rerun shows on MSNBC. I became emotionally invested in Nick, had a little crush on Amy, and ultimately was much pleased with Bill over Kwame.
Season 2 sucked. Sophomore slump I guess.
So Season 3 started last week. I watched the opener with slightly lowered expectations, and I was quite pleased!
First, the team twist. No more XY vs. XX, this time it’s College Grads vs. High School Grads. As a college dropout myself (not like it was useful, I was a history major and I write software..) I have something to attach myself to. And there, folks, is magic hook #1 for the season. Everyone will attach himself to one of the teams. The High School team has something to prove…little guy syndrome. The College team has to hold on to their beliefs in the power of their diplomas with all their might….out-apprenticed by a high-school graduate? Never! And of course, we have the standard Harvard and Wharton types here…not like anyone went to Central Florida Community College (my…um…alma mater). So we have a certain level of elitism going on here. Then again, team high-school has their own sort of elitism, the scrappy “I didn’t need no fancy diploma to get what I got, leave the sheepskin for condoms” attitude.
Step 1: Establish Identities: High School wants to build their image. After The Donald (congrats on landing the hottie Donald!) announces that the high school group earns 3X what the college group does* they sieze the opportunity to stick it to the college kids by naming their team “Net Worth”. In a similar vein, the college team decides to pick a name that reflects what they feel they can lord over the high school group…their degrees. They name themselves “Magna”, a reference to Magna cum Laude. In this viewer’s opinion, the name is decent, but the meaning it conveys is weak. Net Worth is really in your face, kind of a “Bam! Whatchoo got now bitches?” dig at Magna. Magna, on the other hand, conveys to me the image of resting on one’s laurels. Advantage: Net Worth
Step 2: The Task: Burger King. Pick a new burger. Market it. Sell it for a day. And by sell it, I mean run and work in a Burger King, in Manhattan, on a weekday. No easy feat. Immediately after the task is announced, I’m calling it for Net Worth. Maybe it’s not a fair assumption, but if you tell me they’re burger-flipping for a day…I’m going with the guys that have had to prove themselves outside of the classroom every step of the way, because you know each and every one of them worked a food-service or some similar job at some point. Maybe the Magna team did too, but something about Danny annd Verna and a few of the others tells me that it’s less likely. Plus, Net Worth has a guy that does restaraunt promo as his business. It’s like season two where the task was to sell bridal gowns and one of the contestants ran a bridal shop. Can you say ringer?
Key points in the task:
Product Selection: Some may say that product selection is secondary to selling it, but really, you pick a product that gives you options in marketing it. Net Worth chose the Western whatever angus burger. Magna chose the Cardiac burger of Infinite Cheese. Right out of the gates, and largely due to Verna (and the rest of the team listening to her), Magna has made their first mistake. They picked a damn cheeseburger. Nothing more. It has 3 cheeses. That’s was it does…it’s special power…the ability to wield three different cheeses. Net Worth, on the other hand, chooses the burger with a built-in marketing campaign. Western whatever burger…hmm…home on the range…cowboys…fire grilling…and the promotion…a trip to Vegas…it all fits. Not only that, but “Angus” is like, the burger buzz-word of the times. Angus burgers are big. As if they’re any better than standard burgers (at a fast food joint anyway). But consumers want Angus. So Net Worth gives them Angus.
Advantage: Net Worth
Marketing and Promotion: Okay, this is where Magna really dropped the ball. Their marketing just sucked. And as bad a PM as the team leader was, Danny should have been taken out to the street and run over by a cab. Repeatedly. I can’t believe this guy does marketing for a living…he’s incredibly bad at it. His marketing campaign consisted entirely of wandering around like a stoned street troubador, trying to get people to toss a ball in a hole for…something…I don’t even remember what the point of the game was. And what a tool anyway…I know personal style is important, but especially in a setting such as Donald’s television show…you dress the way you’re expected to dress by the person you are trying to impress. I mean…at least Raj’s style was contemporary and worked in a business environment. Net Worth, on the other hand, chose the burger with marketing in mind, rather than trying to market the burger they chose. Western burger, western theme, door prize for tickets to the west (Las Vegas). The shenanigans about negotiating for the viking hat were overblown I’m sure…the guy was just having a little fun. The signage was really done well, and of course, the contest got people in the door.
Advantage: Net Worth
Operations: And here is where the PM for Magna failed miserably. He didn’t delegate tasks properly, and he was a “non-functional” manager. He didn’t train on anything. As a result, when they were in the weeds, he couldn’t do anything to help. I come from a food service background. I worked at a pizza place for 6 years. I delivered, I was a cook, I was a manager. Every shift manager knew every job and was expected to be able to do it better and faster than the people on the line. Why? Because you get in the weeds, and not only does the manager have to be able to pitch in where it will do the most good, be that making food, running the oven, taking late deliveries, answering the phone, running the register, or cleaning the dining room, but he should be so painfully aware of what exactly is required to make each station run smoothly that he can manage his people accordingly. In food service there is absolutlely no room for a non-functional manager. Operations was a major failing on the part of Magna, and I honestly think that Danny got a little bit of a raw deal in the board room. He was getting people in the door (supposedly) but the implementation crew couldn’t handle the demand. The bottleneck at the registers was a major failure, and ultimately, even without the best marketing, Magna could have had a chance in this task with good operations. The number one rule of restaraunt business: Success starts in the kitchen.
Advantage: Net Worth
Just from the three part breakdown, Net Worth should have won. And they did, handily.
In the aftermath, the board room was a little tame. Danny will be gone probably the next time Magna loses. He just doesn’t handle the board room properly. The PM (don’t remember his name) should have been the one fired, and was. He was totally hands-off. He wasn’t involved in product selection, and it failed. He wasn’t involved in marketing, and it failed. He was TOTALLY uninvolved in operations, and it failed miserably. Very uninspired leadership. But Danny will be gone soon.
And why do the “safe” ones in the board room always open their damn mouths? Idiots. You just make Donald angry when you don’t act the way he thinks you should. If he acknowledges you as the “safe” man, he expects you to be Marcel Marceau in there. And it never fails, the safe one says something stupid, Donald gets pissed, he yells at them to shut up when they’re the safe one, and right away they’re on his shitlist. By season three you would think these people had watched enough Apprentice to know how to do it in the board room.
On the reward side, viking hat guy sealed his fate. I clearly have nothing against profanity, but you have to act accordingly with your company. At dinner with Donald Trump and Melania you don’t say stupid things and you certainly don’t unleash your profanities. He’s going to continue to act inappropriately, the bull in the china shop, and Donald’s gonna have his brass balls for it. That viking hat will become an asshat.
So, all in all, I’m looking forward to the season. It shows much promise.
*This should be interesting. Even though the Net Worth team has proven themselves in business, the Magna team has no less proven themselves…just on a different level. And if you have ever read any of Trump’s books (you should) you know how much he values education. Education is what kept Kwame around until the end in the first season. He loves education mixed with experience, over straight experience. It got Troy fired when if he had the education he almost certainly would have been in the final four. Now on the other hand, Donald values education *with* experience. All education no experience is what got Kevin fired last season. But again, the education carried him into the final four, even without any real-world experience. In my opinion, someone from Magna is going to win this, I don’t know who yet, but if it comes down to it, unless someone from Net Worth is just so overwhelmingly obvious the right choice, the educated candidate will win. Next week, I make my first prediction on the winner.